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[20 Sep 2005|11:56pm]
it took me almost two hours to drive to central library in downtown today. i was over an hour late for my orientation. i panicked a lot and stressed myself out. a lot. i felt like i shouldn't have had to apologize because it is not my fault that the sky decided to weep its long overdue tears all over southern california. but it is my fault that i did not leave earlier because i know better. i felt like they didn't believe me when i said there was a grip of traffic. for reals! no, i am not lazy and did not wake up five minutes before i was suppose to leave. stop looking at me like that! oh well. when it all comes down to it, i asked for it. i had to pay $15 for parking. i ate crappy chinese food with brenda and was LATE for the second half of my orientation because of HER. i pretended to do book inspection instead of actually doing book inspection because i didn't have my order sheet with me. nobody told me i had to bring it with me. i don't even have it printed out. i'm not even going to be ordering anything for this month anyway. then i went to the interpol concert at the greek theatre. i had two extra tickets i needed to sell and had no takers. some guy offered me $10 for EACH ticket. i told him to go fuck himself. just kidding. i just said, "HELL NO! ARE YOU SMOKIN' CRACK?! just kidding again because i don't think it's hip to say things like that anymore. my friend and i walked up and down the street trying to get rid of the tickets but we kept running into other ppl trying to get rid of their tickets also. ARGH, DAMNIT. i examined the seating chart and came to the conclusion that my south terrace tickets were definitely way better than sitting in section b or c. we even went up to the seats to check out the view. you poor sap. i hope you ended up with really bad seats. that's what you get for insulting me with your price offer. once i got to my section a seats, 8th row from the stage i felt like being assed out of $90 for the pair i didn't manage to sell was ALL WORTH IT. until the occupants of the four seats to my left arrived drunk and obnoxious. let's see, what happened? well, the drunkest drunk of them all passed out in the seat next to me and started vomitting while the rest of her drunk friends danced around like monkeys, started kicking the seats in front of them, swinging their arms left and right, landing one of the blows on my arm. it didn't hurt but i looked at the guy and said really loud, "OWWWWWWW!" and i held my arm like it was about to detach itself from my body. he looked at me with a blank stare and i think he apologized. i'm going to conclude that today has been ROUGH but that i wish lots of pain and suffering for those four idiots. may they never experience one moment of happiness in their lives ever again.

oh yeah, since parking at the greek is stacked i accidentally backed up into the automobile behind me and felt really bad about it. the girl was nice enough to help guide me out and i ended up banging into her man's truck. luckily there was no damage.
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[10 Sep 2005|11:54am]
i think my cousin had his baby or is having his baby right now. i'm not sure because i was in the shower and my mom was yelling at me through the door telling me that my aunt is picking her up right now. when i tell her to wait for me she says she can't so i tell her to write down my aunt's cell phone number so i can call her later. after a couple of minutes of silence she comes back and says something that sounds like, "ok, she said she'll come in 20 minutes." in five minutes i'm done and i barge through the bathroom door. i say, "when is she coming again?" and the response is silence.

i guess they left without me. now i don't know what's going on so i'll just sit here and wait.


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[13 Jul 2005|01:11am]
[ mood | birds chirping at 1 a.m. ]


i had a dream the other day while i was napping in the afternoon because i had nothing better to do since i don't have a real job yet and just twelve hours previous i was crying like a little baby because someone hurt my feelings so i was exhausted from all the expended energy/emotions. yeah, lame. so my dream took place at central library in downtown. i was interning there so i was sitting behind the reference desk reading a book because nobody needed my help. everybody is apparently so damn smart they knew how to find what they were looking for. my surroundings didn't look like central library. instead it was really pasadena central, which sucks because it's so ill-lit and the signage is almost non existent. but in my dream it felt like central, it just didn't look like it. obviously dreams don't make sense in the fact that one minute i'm doing something then another second i'm outside somewhere and i have no idea how i got there. well, all i remember is that i discovered that libraries now allow beds in their reading rooms. i'd turn to my left and see a row of beds with people laying in them with books propped up on their heaving chests reading. at first i thought it was cool because that's how i read but then i thought that is not cool because this is the library not your home. don't do that here! go away beds! then all of a sudden i had no shoes on and i was being replaced at the reference desk and i wound up walking down the hall and out to the back of the building where regina (brenda's old co-worker) was MC'ing some kind of event with people all dressed in white. when i showed up she had taken a break and was writing numbers down on a piece of paper with names on it. i went over to the stage where she was standing and looked at the paper and saw my name on it with four double-digit numbers next to it. i also saw other names which i did not recognize with more numbers next to their names. i had no idea what was going on. regina just looked at me and i froze. i started to look around and didn't recognize anybody. suddenly she called someone's name and the man stepped up on stage and she began interrogating him with questions and he was answering them in spanish. with every answer the crowd would cheer for him and his relatives would ferociously clap. i was confused so i left and went back inside the library. i headed straight toward the reference desk and asked the two ladies behind it what was going on outside. then i realized they weren't real librarians but paraprofessionals and i felt appalled that they were allowed to sit at the reference desk to assist patrons when policy states only librarians with an MLIS degree from an accredited library school are allowed to assist patrons at the reference desk. but my confusion over the goings-on outside distracted me from my anal retentiveness about library policy and i asked them what the brouhaha was about outside. they told me that the library was interviewing ppl for positions and that the people outside were the ones that were deemed "freaks" and that's how they go about weeding them out. then i started crying because i remembered that my name was on the "freaks" list. but i didn't understand why because when i took the civil service exam i scored a 95% and four other people scored the same as me and nobody scored higher so WHY? why do i still not have a real interview for a position? then an african-american man appeared next to me and told me that it was ok. that even though i was considered a "freak" as long as i was on a list i would still have a good chance at getting a job. it eased my mind a little but i couldn't stop crying. i put my hands over my face and let the tears seep through the spaces in between my fingers. i wailed and howled like an injured animal. he kept patting me on the shoulder but it didn't stop my cries. then i woke up and decided to go to the mall to look for some jeans.

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[27 Jun 2005|01:06pm]
[ mood | you can say what you mean ]

i should be in chicago right now at the ala convention but OF COURSE i didn't have enough money to fly my ass over there, stay in a hotel, pay for meals for 6 days. i felt pretty crappy about not being able to go since so many of my "peers" were going. i want to be apart of something too even though i'd still be the white m&m in a handful of blue ones. that doesn't make sense and i don't care. i feel so far removed from school, the library environment, and people in general.

anyway, i found an article on cnn about obama. he was the keynote speaker at the ala convention and the main reason i wanted to go. ok, not the main reason (another reason is you get free shit like BOOKS and you can't beat free shit) but it would have been cool to see him speak since my jew boss lady kept praising him for his speech at the dnc.

Obama's Stand Against Patriot Act Cheered

By CARLA K. JOHNSON, Associated Press Writer Sun Jun 26, 3:48 AM ET

CHICAGO - To the cheers of thousands of librarians, U.S. Sen. Barack Obama on Saturday called for the Senate to rewrite the USA Patriot Act to prevent investigators from scanning library records and bookstore sales slips.

Libraries should be "sanctuaries of learning where we are free to read and consider what we please without the fear that 'Big Brother' may be peering over our shoulder," Obama said in the keynote address at the American Library Association's annual conference.

Last week, despite a White House veto threat, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to restrict investigators from using the anti-terrorism law in libraries and book stores. Obama said he hopes the Senate follows suit.

"I hope we can pass a provision, just like the one that the House of Representatives passed overwhelmingly, that would require federal agents to get search warrants from a real judge in a real court, just like everyone else does," Obama said.

The conference, which runs in Chicago through Wednesday, drew more than 13,000 attendees, some of whom will discuss strategies for amending the Patriot Act, which was passed by Congress in the days following Sept. 11, 2001.

One attendee, Merryll Penson, executive director for library services for the University System of Georgia, said librarians "are not people who want to help terrorists," but want to see reading lists protected from automatic surveillance.

"For a lot of librarians, it's the principle," she said.

i think that's enough nerdiness for one day.

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[15 Jun 2005|12:20am]
[ mood | we're just a million little ]

just got back from the doves concert at the wiltern. not bad. i had never heard their music before today and their website is too loaded with flash that their songs came out sounding wonky on my laptop. the lead singer looks like SEAN BEAN but with longer hair. when you say SEAN BEAN you have to use an English accent. it's only natural. oh, which reminds me. i was watching a movie at brenda's one night and SEAN BEAN was in it and every time he popped on the screen i would yelp, "SEAN BEAN!" in my best English accent. i did it throughout half of the movie and brenda got mad. she told me to STFU. and i laughed in her face. a maniacal laugh because i am crazy like that.

what i fucking hate about having floor tickets is getting rude and annoying fat bastard mother fuckers stand in front of you AS IF you weren't even there to begin with. my friend has got some balls. she asked the fat bastard if he was going to be standing in front of her and he said, "you can stand in front of us when they come on." OH HELL NO FAT BASTARD! we should be standing in front of you RIGHT NOW because you are rude enough to push us aside and take our place. i turned around and this girl behind me made a comment about the rudeness of fat bastard and i almost high-fived her. we should have aligned forces and kicked his fat bastard ass. but we didn't for fear that we might get our limbs stuck in his fat bastard folds.

anyway, right before the doves came on these two nice dorky looking white boys let us stand in front of them. and who said chivalry was dead? the short one looked like rivers cuomo. the tall one had a hairy neck. they were nice. i asked my friend if we were going to have to put out since they were nice to us. she laughed and i felt bad for being so cynical. i also felt claustrophobic the majority of the time because i was wedged in between my friend and studly abercrombie-clad asian boy. he almost elbowed me in the boob. it could have felt good but seeing as how i don't have much cushion in that area, probably not. tall dorky white boy with the hairy neck was breathing down on my head most of the time but it was ok. a lot of songs were played that i was not familiar with and i tried to bob my head to the beats but i wasn't feelin' it. after the encore i thanked the two nice dorky looking white boys and we left. we passed by the merch counter and i spied cute doves t-shirts that i could not afford. boo hoo.

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[12 Jun 2005|09:50pm]
[ mood | we are all on drugs, yeah ]

spiders, i do not like. :(
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RE: [06 Jun 2005|08:52pm]
[ mood | he puts the weights into my ]

Tagged by la_aquarius

Yes, my bookshelving is ghetto.
I'm a librarian but I don't have a decent bookshelf.
It's all about the milk crates!

1. Total number of books owned:

2. The last book I bought:
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon

3. The last book I read:
MAUS I - Art Spiegelman
I had to read this again for my YA Lit class.

4. Five books that mean a lot to me:
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
Franny & Zooey - J.D. Salinger
Nine Stories - J.D. Salinger
Walk Two Moons - Sharon Creech
The Chocolate War - Robert Cormier

5. Tag five people out:

Tagged by momotar0

so here's the deal, i get to tell you five (maybe six) songs that i'm feelin right now. then i tag five (maybe six) of y'all...and you tell me the same (in your LJ) & tag some other folks.

1) B.Y.O.B - System of a Down
2) Crown of Love - The Arcade Fire
3) Say Hello to the Angels - Interpol
4) Every Day I Love You Less and Less - Kaiser Chiefs
5) Passing Me By - Pharcyde

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[26 May 2005|01:21pm]
i think i'm dying. i just got all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. and i have no VICODIN! i can't drive to go get it myself because i feel nauseous. i think i feel nauseous because all i'm ingesting is a mixture of blood and saliva. i can't even fucking talk because my jaw muscles are fucked up and my tongue feels bloated. but hey, i can still type pretty well.


oh my lord.

release me from this pain.


i can't stop crying because it hurts so fucking baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
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[17 May 2005|09:11pm]
Do I dare disturb the universe?
Yes, I do, I do. I think.
Jerry suddenly understood the poster – the solitary man on the beach standing upright and alone and unafraid, poised at the moment of making himself heard and known in the world, the universe.

They tell you to do your thing but they don’t mean it. They don’t want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too. It’s a laugh, Goober, a fake. Don’t disturb the universe, Goober, no matter what the posters say.

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier, 1974.
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[16 May 2005|07:09pm]
The lightbulb in the bathroom was blazing a white star in the mirror, and looking at it, I was surprised by how much pleasure and agony could burst from one's heart at the same time. For once, I understood what my grandma used to say about happiness. She'd say that it came from breathing air that escaped from a tiny hole in heaven. But if you breathed too much of it, you became sick with the desire to go there, and you couldn't live your life properly.

-- Parrot in the Oven by Victor Martinez
National Book Award Winner, 1996
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if you're free on saturday... [25 Apr 2005|10:08am]
The Asian American Slam Poetry Showcase


Junichi Semitsu, Director of Poetry 4 the People (San Francisco)
D’Lo, New York Public Theatre (NYC)
Danie Jung (LA)
SKIM, member of Black Korea (LA)
Justin Nakasone (LA)
Leonard Shek, member of Proletariat Bronze (San Francisco)
Adriel Luis, 2004 San Francisco Slam Champion (San Francisco)
Asia Continental (Houston)

[HOT 97 and VH1’s Best Week Ever]

100.3 the Beat, Dance 360, and Steve Harvey’s Big Time]

[Host of the World Famous Laugh Factory]


[Resident Performer of Russell Simmon’s Def Poetry Jam]


Saturday, April 30th; 7 pm @ Jung Dong Theater
505 S. Virgil Ave., 3rd Floor (6th and Virgil)
(FREE parking available on Westmoreland and 6th)

Tickets available now, but going fast!!

Read more...Collapse )
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library gayness [06 Apr 2005|09:27pm]
OH SHIT! Burbank Public Library - Buena Vista Branch seen on tonight's episode of ALIAS. There's a big fake oak tree in the middle of the children's room. Bleh. The mysterioso voice on the other end of the line told Vaughn to meet him at the Sherwood Library on the UCLA campus if he wanted intel on his dad. HA HA HA. Yeah, whatever. I never heard of no Sherwood Library. AND there definitely isn't a children's section in an academic library on a university campus. COME ON PEOPLE! Get with the details!

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fuck-a-doodle-do! [28 Mar 2005|10:44pm]
[ mood | i know i'm kinda late but ]


Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The "zed" word, don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: Well... are there any?
Shaun: [looking out the door mail slot, sees an empty street] No...
Shaun: [turns his head, sees a pack of zombies] Oh, no wait, there they are.
20 comments|post comment

March Madness!!!!! [18 Mar 2005|12:18am]

No. 6 Texas Tech 78, No. 11 UCLA 66

ooooh. owww. ohhhh. boo. hoo.


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[15 Mar 2005|12:21am]
[ mood | no lights, no music, ]

so i got a paid internship for next quarter. not at any of the sites i listed because apparently they weren't offering an internship for spring quarter even though their site descriptions didn't mention anything about it. i'll be at city of commerce public library. wherever the hell that is. i haven't totally gotten it yet since i still have to contact the site supervisor and arrange a meeting with her.

i should be done with my quarter as of TODAY but i decided to slack off this past weekend and got nothing done except the powerpoint presentation. that didn't go as well as i wanted it to. i received no objections to the content of my presentation from my faculty advisor but i got waried criticism from some of my "peers." anyway, i don't want to go into it because it'll aggravate me. *sigh* if only we were as perfect as M.Y. then the world would be such a beautiful place, wouldn't it? *gag*

i really want this quarter to be over already. i'm dead tired of writing crap for school. a fifteen-pager on hispanic outreach and develop a plan for achieving the seven ALSC competencies for children's librarians. yay. :(
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[10 Mar 2005|11:11pm]
i don't know too much about thailand or thai-americans or anything thai even though i went to thai school and help my mom at the thai temple. i don't even have thai friends. not sure why. but i'm happy with my discovery today.

i was pulling old magazines from the racks at my internship and found in one of the Time magazines a book review on a collection of short stories called Sightseeing by Rattawut Lapchareonsap. it had a star in the column for critic's choice or whatever and i thought, "wow. a thai writer?" and it wasn't a translated work either! so i amazon'd it and read the excerpt. not bad. i think i'll get it when i'm done with this blasted quarter.


I knew it was love when Clint Eastwood sniffed her crotch earlier that morning and the girl didn't scream or jump out of the sand or swat the pig like some of the other girls do. She merely lay there, snout in crotch, smiling that angelic smile, like it was the most natural thing in the world, running the hand over the fuzz of Clint Eastwood's head like it was some pink and docile dog, and said, giggling, "Why hello, oh my, what a nice surprise, you're quite a beast, aren't you?"

I'd been combing the motel beachfront for trash when I looked up from my morning chore and noticed Clint Eastwood sniffing his new friend. An American: Her Budweiser bikini told me so. I apologized from a distance, called the pig over, but the girl said it was okay, it was fine, the pig could stay as long as he liked. She called me over and said I could do the same.

I told her the pig's name.

"That's adorable," she said, laughing.

"He's the best," I said. "Dirty Harry. Fistful of Dollars. The Outlaw Josey Wales. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."

"He's a very good actor."

"Yes. Mister Eastwood is a first-class thespian."

Clint Eastwood trotted into the ocean for his morning bath then, leaving us alone, side-by-side in the sand. I looked to make sure Ma wasn't watching me from the office window. I explained how Clint Eastwood loves the ocean at low tide, the wet sand like a three-kilometer trough of mud. The girl sat up on her elbows, watched the pig, a waterlogged copy of The Portrait of a Lady at her side. She'd just gone for a swim and the beads of water on her navel seemed so close that for a moment I thought I might faint if I did not look away.

"I'm Elizabeth. Lizzie."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Elizabeth," I said. "I like your bikini."

She threw back her head and laughed. I admired the shine of her tiny, perfectly even rows of teeth, the gleam of that soft, rose-colored tongue quivering between them like the meat of some magnificent mussel.
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[06 Mar 2005|12:35am]
[ mood | I need to pee! ]

In order to perpetuate the self-torture -- I should be revising, no, rewriting in its entirety the core learning segment of my portfolio because my instructor said it sucked -- I would like to share the flannel board story I will be telling in my Tuesday class. Thank you.

Here you goCollapse )

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[02 Mar 2005|10:52am]
i like this song. jenny lewis has got a sweet-ass girly voice.

A Better Son/Daughter

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs
I know I can't breathe
And hope someone will save me this time
And your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that god never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on
You're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be better
And you'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
You'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome
You'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them

-- Rilo Kiley
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[27 Feb 2005|12:36am]
[ mood | CONGESTED ]

my nostrils.

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[16 Feb 2005|07:30pm]
[ mood | i'm so happy 'cause today i ]

The end of the affair is always death.
She's my workshop. Slippery eye,
out of the tribe of myself my breath
finds you gone. I horrify
those who stand by. I am fed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

Finger to finger, now she's mine.
She's not too far. She's my encounter.
I beat her like a bell. I recline
in the bower where you used to mount her.
You borrowed me on the flowered spread.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

Take for instance this night, my love,
that every single couple puts together
with a joint overturning, beneath, above,
the abundant two on sponge and feather,
kneeling and pushing, head to head.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

I break out of my body this way,
an annoying miracle. Could I
put the dream market on display?
I am spread out. I crucify.
My little plum is what you said.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

Then my black-eyed rival came.
The lady of water, rising on the beach,
a piano at her fingertips, shame
on her lips and a flute's speech.
And I was the knock-kneed broom instead.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

She took you the way a women takes
a bargain dress off the rack
and I broke the way a stone breaks.
I give back your books and fishing tack.
Today's paper says that you are wed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

The boys and girls are one tonight.
They unbutton blouses. They unzip flies.
They take off shoes. They turn off the light.
The glimmering creatures are full of lies.
They are eating each other. They are overfed.
At night, alone, I marry the bed.

--Anne Sexton

i don't know much about poetry but i thought this was lovely. then i discovered the title.

The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator

fucking glorious.

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